Feeling a little lost here. I was diagnosed with breast cancer this year on May 23rd. I figured this could be a place to get my thoughts out and be a way to keep people close to me in the loop along my journey.

I’ve been feeling pretty unwell for almost 6 years and have had numerous scans and tests for things like MS and other autoimmune disorders in that time.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis about 12 years ago which was discovered somewhat accidentally by a sharp ultrasound technician. They noticed some pretty large gnarly nodules on my enlarged thyroid which led to an inconclusive biopsy and referral to a surgeon to have my thyroid removed. I would say I didn’t have many apparent symptoms associated with Hashimoto’s when this was happening. During surgery they decided to only remove one lobe of my thyroid because surgery was taking too long, but the good news was that they didn’t find cancer in the biopsies they took. The bad news was that I still had Hashimoto’s. I didn’t really feel much different after, I still felt like myself.

Fast forward 6 years and I’ve been plagued with headaches, nausea, stomach pain, dizziness, occasional balance issues, ear ringing, muscle and joint pain just to name a few.

I follow up with an Endocrinologist, Neurologist, Gastroenterologist and Rheumatologist. In November 2024 my positive ANA skyrocketed so I was labeled with Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease in the meantime because I am not testing positive for specific antibodies for Lupus or Sjogren’s.

In January I was started on Hydroxychloroquine because I was getting painful swollen lymph nodes in my armpit plus the high ANA, so it was thought that the UCT was causing lymphadenopathy. I was ready to accept this and just live with not feeling well, which is a pretty awful thing because I miss out on a lot of things because of that – but I thought that I had an explanation and was willing to accept it keep pushing through the fatigue and be kind to myself.

I had a mammogram in October 2023 with a follow up ultrasound that said I had some cysts and dense breasts and another mammogram in October 2024 that didn’t note anything other than dense breasts.

I assumed that the pain in my breast was hormonal or the cysts could be causing pain, and assumed the lumpy feeling was how dense breast tissue felt.

Fast forward to February/March and the lumps feel different, there’s a spot that feels like a pebble is stuck and there’s some stabby pains, itching and what felt like overnight suddenly everything just feels off and looks a little strange.

By the end of April it’s really not feeling normal and since the end of April I’ve been waiting for appointments, getting biopsies, MRI’s, a PET/CT scan etc. Time feels like it’s moving slow and my thoughts are all over the place with panic and worry all while trying to keep cool and go to work and not lose my sense of humor or my mind in the meantime.

Last week I had a chemo port surgically placed in my chest because I have to start chemo soon. Tomorrow I have to have an echocardiogram to check my heart before I can start chemo.

At this point I know that I need chemo because they think it’s at least stage 3. I have to have chemo before I can have surgery because apparently the tumor is too large to remove right now. Lymph node biopsy shows cancer, PET scan shows numerous lymph nodes in my chest and collarbone area and there is possibly something near one of my lungs. They can’t tell for sure if it’s spread into my pectoral muscle.

I will have to take hormone blockers at some point which will put me in to menopause.

Assuming that chemo works out then I will have surgery and likely radiation after surgery.

I’m at a loss for words. I just want to relax with my cats and get some good sleep.